It's been a month since Eric has started at ATK, and that means that I haven't slept, done wifely duties, or stayed on any sort of schedule since then. I find me building my life around Eric when he's awake. I do absolutely do nothing when he's awake because I want to spend it with him. Then when he's asleep, I try to be quite so I don't do much then either. I'm finding I can't win for losing. I'm going three steps forward just to fall five steps back. Laundry just doesn't seem to ever go down, dishes aways seem to appear in the sink, and the floors seem dirtier more so then ever.
Tonight I found myself trying to be "normal" again. I actually made dinner by 5 pm. It's been a while since I've done that. I cleaned up, put things away and kept going with the laundry. My floors are swept, the dogs are fed, and 1 kid so far is in bed. I'm not saying that I'm used to not having my husband around, but things are starting to fall back in to place. My upside down world is slowly starting to turn. If I can get the sleep to come more easy, I think my world would turn more rapidly. But I don't see that happening as fast as I wish. "Normal" still seems so distant for me, maybe one day, when I actually get some sleep, I just might wake up from this hazey world to a one more welcoming.
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