Conversations...

Setting:  Selected schools around the valley provide free lunch for children 0 - 18 years old. My sister likes to take all the kids down to the Junior High to eat so they don't eat her out of house and home.  On this particular day, crispidoras were served.  As my sister was driving  back home, Trent was still gnawing on what was left of his.

Trent:  Aunt Jonnie, what are crispadoras made of?
Jonnie: (not hesitating) Cat. Why?
Trent: What??!! (chucking the crispadora out the window)
Caitrin: I don't see what the problem is.  You eat pig.
Jonnie: Why did you throw that out the window?  I was only joking!!  It's made from cow, hamburger, ground beef.
Trent: Aunt Jonnie, I don't feel so good.

She had to pull the car over from laughing so hard.

I'm not sure if I should be upset at the fact that Trent actually believed my sister, or concerned with Caitrin not caring that it could possibly be a domesticated household animal...

Conversations...

Setting: Driving to school with Caitrin in the back seat

Caiti: Mom, I want to be three again.

Mom: Why? You who cries every morning because you're not five.

Caiti: Just because...

Mom: "Because" is not an answer. Why do you want to be three again?

Caiti: Three was more passionate *sigh*

Really!?! Where did that come from???

Conversations....

Setting: The kids and I were in the car driving to school. Tarren had in hand all the paperwork one has to fill out when the kids go back to school.

Tarren: Mom, what does "custody" mean?
Mom: It means who the child resides with. Like if parents are divorced, who does the child live with most of the time.
Tarren: But you checked "both parents".
Mom: Yeah. You guys live with both dad and I. We both have custody of you.
From the back seat...
Trent: Mom, I don't want you and dad to get a divorce.
Mom: Well, okay?? It wasn't on the books for today, but I'll see what I can do.
Trent: Okay. Thanks. *smiling*

You got to let them think that they have some decision making power every now and again.....

Conversations...

Setting: Trent and I were in the car listening to Positive Life Radio. One of the lyrics to a song was "Jesus conquered the grave".

Trent: What does "conquered the grave mean"?
Me: Jesus died for our sins and that if we believe in him, we never die. (trying to keep it short and sweet)
Trent: Oh. Am I the son of God?
Me: Well, not THE son of God, but a child of God and a brother in Christ
Trent. Oh. Who named Jesus?
Me: The angels told Mary what to name the baby.***
Trent: Oh. Was Mary an angel?
Me: No
Trent: Oh. Can you have babies in Heaven?
Me: I don't think so.
Trent: Does God have a dog?

At this point, I was ready to bang my head on the steering wheel. The child did not take a breath in between questions.
I told Trent if Heaven meant that God had a dog, then yes, I'm sure there are a few up there hanging around.
I finally arrived at the pool and was glad to drop him off. I needed a moment of silence.

***Thinking back now, I think the Angels told Joseph what to name the baby..

Conversations...

So yesterday my son came home with a flier from school in regards to an elk bugling contest for the Rocky Mountain Elk Foundation. Trent had expressed that he wanted to give it a try.

Me: Trent do you even know what elk bugling is?

Trent: Well.. no. What is it

Me: Elk do a call that attracts the cows so they can mate.

Now I've had the "talk" with my two older kids. We've not held back anything from them. They know what sex is, and what's to happen in puberty and all that fun stuff.
Trent gave me a dumbfounded look, and I automatically thought " oh crap, I'm gonna have to explain this"

Me: Okay.. The male elk, a bull, will bugle a call to attract the female elk, the cow, they will have sex and make a calf, a baby elk. ( I say this kind of fast in hopes that he doesn't catch all of it and maybe will walk away) (Yea... no)

Trent, with a mortified look on his face: Does that mean I have to pull down my pants and underwear? I don't want to do it then.

That's when I called Eric into the conversation.. I didn't know what else to do... heaven help me!!

Conversations:

Setting: In my car trying to go to church, last Sunday.

Caitrin: Mom!! I need Belle. Please go get my Belle. (a 2 inch Beauty and the Beast plastic doll)

I run into the house to appease my child's hysterics.

Caitrin: Oh.. Thank you mama. Now all my friends won't think I'm weird.


Too late, I'm already sold.

Conversations

Setting: Last night Caitrin was throwing a fit because I wouldn't let her lay down with gum in her mouth. It was bed time and I didn't want her to fall asleep with it. Needless to say she didn't like my decision, but I held firm. "No gum". She ended up continuing to throw a fit for the next 5 or so minutes. I told her that was it and I put her to bed. I wasn't going to deal with her attitude. So this morning when I woke her up to go to school, I sat her up on my lap.
Mommy: Morning Bug. Did you sleep well last night?
She just shook her head while rubbing the sleep out of her eyes.
Then she looked up at me with sad big blue eyes...and bottom lip out...
Caitrin: I adjusted my attitude for you mama.
Talk about heart breaking. At least I know she knows the meaning of attitude adjustment.

Conversations

Setting: Caitrin in the tub before church, playing

Daddy: Ok Caiti, it's time to get washed up
Caiti: I don't want to wash up
Daddy:Well, sometimes parents ask you to do something and sometimes they tell you to do something. And I'm telling you that you need to get washed up.
Caiti: (Yelling) I DON'T HAVE PARENTS!!!!!

Then what the heck are we, chop liver?

conversations

Setting: At my sisters house.

Caiti: Aunt Jonnie, can you help me with my shoes?

Jonnie: Yea, what's the problem?

Caiti: I can't get my skin in there.

Conversations....

Setting: Eric trying to get a DVD to work so Caiti can watch it.. it kept skipping and bouncing around

Daddy: Ohh...this better work, or it's gonna go in the round file. Caiti do you know what the round file is...?

Caitrin: Yea....

Daddy: What's the round file?

Caitrin: It goes down to Hell.

Daddy: The round file? It goes down to Hell

Caitrin: Yep, it goes down to Hell

Eric just stares at her in disbelief.... Caitrin just wonders off to go sit down.

Conversations

Setting: My livingroom, thrashed from a two year olds toys...toys everywhere

Daddy: Caiti Mae, you need to clean up all your toys honey.
Caiti: I will

Daddy: No, now, you made the mess, you clean it up
Caiti: I AM!

2 minutes go by ( still no cleaning)

Daddy: Caiti Mae! If you don't start cleaning up, I'm gonna swat your bottom.
Caiti: Daddy, don't yell at me like that!

Daddy: I'm gonna keep yelling if you don't clean up!
Caiti: Daddy, I said "don't talk to me like that!"

Eric turns and walks away trying to hide that's he's laughing is butt off. Looks at me and says "How do you argue with that?"

So the question at hand: Am I so screwed come teenage years?